Love can expand and contract. Deepen or fade, depending on circumstances. Love at its most raw is about feeling — the electricity of connection, the expansion of the heart, and the sense that someone matters to you in a way that’s hard to explain.

But the practice of devotion is a choice and it lives in your actions, not your feelings. It shows up when circumstances fluctuate and honors a treasured bond.

The word, devotion, had been popping up again and again in conversations to the point that I finally started paying attention to it and what it was trying to teach me.

I had a couple of friends who were expecting their first child, and as a mother to twin girls, they asked me for my pearls of wisdom. With my girls now in middle school, I’ve had the time to reflect back on that entire period and ponder… What do I wish someone had told me back then? Honestly, I felt like my husband and I were still kids ourselves in our 20s and white knuckled the first few years of their life with the rest of our extended families all overseas. Everyone was quick to point out the best diaper cream or car seat but not one person gave me any emotional roadmap for just how much it was going to demand from my capacity to show up every day, often every hour, with unrelenting devotion.

And in those conversations with friends, I found myself saying that one of my biggest regrets was this — that there is very little footage of me being a full-time mother raising those girls. So I told my friends to set up their phone and occasionally record themselves preparing the bottles, making the meals, sat on their breast pump, running the bath, reading the bedtime story, stroking their baby’s hair during their first stinking cold, the endless laundry, the vomit, the poop, the tears. All of it.

Because it’s in those small, seemingly insignificant moments, that life is truly happening. The practice of devotion is taking place. Those are the tangible efforts of your unconditional love.

No one will record it for you. See it as an act of love for your future self.

Now I don’t want to limit this post to the confines of experiences within motherhood so I use this as a general illustration. And I wouldn’t have wanted those videos to seek validation from anyone else, including my children, that I ‘did my job’. It would’ve been to remind myself that I moved from the heart, I showed up for the people I care about, and I trusted in my ability to do difficult things from a place of honoring a sacred bond.

Being a mother is an often thankless job. There is no promotion, no pay rise. No pats on the back or the option to walk out and quit at 5pm after a rough day. So as I sit here, as a woman with little evidence to document those years, it almost feels as if the time didn’t really exist. Because it wasn’t witnessed. It wasn’t truly acknowledged or appreciated by the correct person — myself. Maybe that’s why so many of us later in life feel profoundly unseen, unheard, invalidated and invisible. We can so often project that feeling onto a partner and believe the blame lies with them, but if we dig deeper, we can trace the roots back to the truth that we have been abandoning ourselves all along.

That realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

A few years ago, I found myself wallowing in swamp of resentment. I had everything I thought I wanted: the marriage, the beautiful home, financial security, the family. Yet I was moody. Creatively unfulfilled. Constantly snappy for no particular reason. I no longer wanted to live in the confines of the domesticated gilded cage I had essentially built for myself.

Now I don’t regret being a stay-at-home mother during those years as my relationship with my daughters is very special. However — I was hyper aware the kids were going to grow up and leave. I was getting increasingly distant from my partner. What about me (the real, soul-level me)?? I could feel myself spiraling in an existential panic.

It felt like my love energy was flowing out of me but I felt constantly upset or disappointed that it didn’t feel like it was being reciprocated. The answer didn’t come immediately, but in time I learned how to create and sustain that flow...

At one point in my spiritual journey of transformation, I was deep in meditation and my spirit guides showed me how I was continually setting myself for disappointment. I could not control if and how another person would reciprocate love and devotion. But I was shown energy flowing in an infinite loop between me and my work and the message was clear: when you pour that devotion into your purpose and your passions, it will always flow back to you. It was another reminder of the fundamental lesson, which is the greatest relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.

Devotion is a lifelong commitment to yourself, to your dreams and your goals. Devotion shows up in the small things. Devotion shows up in the small efforts that you take towards becoming that person in your long-term vision. Your ‘higher self’.

And I think this is where it is important to make a distinction between devotion and discipline. TikTok Creator @spiritualsweta has a nice way of explaining this:

Discipline is an energy of obligation, pressure and control. Devotion is an energy of love, freedom, patience and understanding. When you make that switch from a discipline mindset to devotion, you are shifting something very deep inside. When we are driven by the concept of discipline, we are trying to stay consistent by being very rigid. But when you are devoted to something, you see the long-term vision and you are completely locked in on that thing, no matter how your relationship changes to it over time. Because over time, a lot can change. Your life can change. Lock in on who you are trying to be and show up through repeated and conscious behaviors.

“Discipline is rigidity in consistency, devotion is freedom in consistency” - @spiritualsweta

And maybe that’s why devotion is so easily observed through raising a child — it isn’t a short-lived act. It is a slow, methodical, repetitive practice of nurturing. Of pouring yourself on a literal cellular level into a vessel of pure love and creation. And you see what devotion can mold and take shape to bring into your physical reality and take up space.

I practice devotion when I am running on the treadmill. I tell myself: this is devotion. When I am downing my vitamins or drinking a shake full of nutrients: this is devotion. Every time I sit down to write. Or meditate. Or take a walk. This is nourishing myself. This is mothering myself.

Apply that same essence to a business you want to start or an artistic passion project you chip away at it as one act of devotion a day. Or week. Purely out of love to yourself. You deserve the same level of devotion that you pour into others. No one is going to do it for you. Over time, the behavior will compound and you will shape something tangible into your 3D reality that did not exist before.

The treasure is found in the daily actions that are feeding your soul, your art, and soothing that ache in your heart for a life well-lived and fulfilled.

That ache wants recognition. It’s yearning for your devotion.

Chiron is regarded as a key to self-knowledge — it’s not a wound to be ashamed of, but one of your biggest pain points that if you can move towards, becomes the portal to your greatest uplevel.

How to Find Your Birth Chart

You’ll need three things: your date of birth, place of birth, and ideally your exact time of birth (from your birth certificate if possible). The time is most important for getting your Rising sign and accurate house placements.

I used astro-seek.com because it is free and beginner-friendly. You can download your chart as a pdf and upload into ChatGPT and ask it to go into your placements. You could also do this with a partner’s chart and see how your Chiron wounds interact and impact triggers and communication styles.

Once your chart loads, you’re looking for the symbol that looks like a key — or the letter K with a small circle at the bottom. That’s Chiron (♄). Find it on the wheel and note which sign it’s in and which house it occupies. Both matter.

Your zodiac sign is how it expresses, and the house is where this energy is placed.

The 12 Chiron Placements — Core Wounds & Healing Paths

Chiron in Aries (or House 1): The wound around existing — feeling you have no right to take up space, to assert yourself, to simply be. The healing path is reclaiming your will and learning that your existence needs no justification.

Chiron in Taurus (or House 2): The wound around worthiness and safety — scarcity, material insecurity, or feeling fundamentally undeserving. The healing path is building a genuine relationship with your own value, separate from what you earn or own.

Chiron in Gemini (or House 3): The wound around being heard — feeling your words don’t matter, learning difficulties, or silenced expression. The healing path is finding your voice and trusting the validity of your perspective.

Chiron in Cancer (or House 4): The wound around belonging and home — family pain, feeling motherless in some essential way, not having a safe place to land. The healing path is creating that emotional home within yourself and chosen relationships.

Chiron in Leo (or House 5): The wound around being seen — feeling invisible, unspecial, or that your creative self-expression is unwelcome. The healing path is the courageous act of shining without needing permission.

Chiron in Virgo (or House 6): The wound around being enough — perfectionism, feeling fundamentally broken or flawed, chronic self-criticism. The healing path is radical self-acceptance and understanding that you are whole, not a problem to fix.

Chiron in Libra (or House 7): The wound around relationships — abandonment, inequality in partnerships, or deep fear of conflict. The healing path is learning what genuine, balanced relating actually looks and feels like.

Chiron in Scorpio (or House 8): The wound around power, betrayal, and loss — often involving profound grief, violation of trust, or trauma that lives in the body. The healing path is transformation itself — descending into darkness and returning changed.

Chiron in Sagittarius (or House 9): The wound around meaning and belief — faith shattered, feeling philosophically homeless, or being punished for seeking truth. The healing path is building an authentic philosophy of life that belongs entirely to you.

Chiron in Capricorn (or House 10): The wound around achievement and authority — feeling unseen for your accomplishments, crushing self-doubt about your place in the world, or harsh paternal wounding. The healing path is redefining success on your own terms.

Chiron in Aquarius (or House 11): The wound around belonging to the collective — the outsider, the one who doesn’t fit, loneliness within community. The healing path is embracing your uniqueness as a gift rather than an exile.

Chiron in Pisces (or House 12): The wound around spiritual dissolution — losing yourself in others, feeling unseen by the universe, or struggling with the boundary between self and everything else. The healing path is learning that surrender and boundaries are not opposites.

How to Actually Work With Your Chiron

The key insight is that Chiron isn’t meant to be erased — it’s meant to be integrated. Here’s how to do that practically:

The first step is simply acknowledging the wound without shame. Most people either ignore their Chiron territory entirely (unconscious avoidance) or they spin endlessly in it (unproductive suffering). Reading your placement and saying “yes, this is real” is genuinely significant.

From there, therapy, bodywork, journaling, or any reflective practice aimed at the specific theme your Chiron describes will have disproportionate impact. If you have Chiron in Cancer, inner child work. If Chiron in Scorpio, trauma-informed therapy. The themes aren’t random: they point precisely at the work required.

Notice where your deepest empathy naturally flows. People with Chiron in Virgo often become extraordinary healers of others’ shame. Those with Chiron in Aquarius often become fierce advocates for outsiders. Your wound is a portal into wisdom. You understand something about that territory that people without your wound simply don’t.

So for example, in my chart, my Chiron is in Gemini — the wound of the voice. On a soul level, I carry the ache of wondering: is it safe for me to speak? Will anyone hear me? Do my words and ideas have value? I am caught between “if I speak I will be rejected” and “if I stay silent, I will disappear.” The healing for this wound is in becoming the messenger to remind others that speaking truth, even if it’s messy or imperfect, is sacred. It is learning that connection begins with authenticity and words carry medicine to bring healing into the world.

When I unlocked this self-knowledge, it was incredibly validating to feel like there was some purpose to my inner turmoil. That there was a reason I kept feeling compelled to start this page and build a community. To share information that could be either comforting for someone going through a difficult time, or to help facilitate their transformation. Understanding my personal chart feels like catching a glimpse into the DNA of my light/soul being, if that makes sense. Most importantly, it gave me something tangible to work from.

If you can learn more about your Chiron, you may discover that the medicine you need is in the discomfort you are avoiding.

Tell me in the comments if your Chiron placement revealed anything surprising or significant for you?

With little sugarcoating, the 43-year-old mogul lays out her roadmap for success while urging women to question what she calls “old thoughts”- the inherited, deeply rooted beliefs they are taught about ambition, money, careers and work-life balance.

And on the question of: “can you have it all?” She’s refreshingly honest: you can’t. Grede is clear that she doesn’t try to embark on an impossible balancing act. So what are her biggest takeaways at this point in her impressive career?

Stop the “Employee Mentality”

A powerful thread running through the book is the rejection of what she calls the “employee mentality” - waiting for permission, approval or a boss to tell you what comes next instead of taking the reins and advocating for yourself. She says that you have to think of yourself first because nobody else ever will. Her view? “Power has to be taken, no one is going to hand it to you,” she says.

Visualizing, Not Manifesting

Ambition, Grede says, is hard to maintain without clarity on what you want, why you want it and what you are willing to do to get there. But she separates it from the idea of manifesting:

“You can’t manifest your way to anything, or at least that hasn’t been my personal experience. So, when I talk about holding a vision for yourself, it’s like, what is the way that you want to live? What is the way that you want to show up? What are your principles? What’s important to you? And making sure that every decision you make is going in the direction of those things that are important to you,” Grede says.

She’s also encouraged other women to write down their dreams and financial goals, while identifying things they wouldn’t ever sacrifice. “I hold a vision for myself,” she added. “And I’m uncompromising.”

Persisting Through Uncertainty

The business leader counters the idea that people should stick only to what comes naturally. Talent helps, of course, but so does the ability to figure things out—not always by arriving at the perfect answer, but by having the mindset to work through uncertainty.

She writes the new thought as, “You will bring a particular genius to your career, and it’s your job to figure out what this is.” That means staying open, curious and willing to keep learning. It is an ethos Grede says she applies in her personal life, too, including in the way she has carved out time to experiment with AI and explore what it can do.

She says that women regularly stop themselves before they can reach their potential, getting trapped on the lowest rungs of the problem and being too intimidated to fully picture what they want and then pursue it. They convince themselves that they can’t start a business because they don’t understand every operational detail, but Grede says that doesn’t matter.

“Are you a visionary? Do you have a creative bone? Do you have something that you’re trying to do?” If so, she says, lead with that and then bring people onboard to fill in your gaps.

Embracing Fear & Resisting Perfectionism

“Risk is a requirement; playing it safe is the real danger. Risk is the bridge between who you are today and where you’re going,” she writes.

The fear of failure often keeps people from taking the leap in the first place. But throughout her own life, Grede says, failure has been less an ending than a catalyst, something to learn from, grow through and use as momentum for what comes next. She now reads fear as a “signal,” something that points to what is new, uncertain and worth aiming toward.

Part of her book’s argument for overcoming fear is about breaking the hold of perfectionism. Progress matters more than polish, and the only way into bigger, newer things, she suggests, is to stop overthinking and push past the fear.

More Candid Conversations

The mom-of-four calls for greater transparency among women. She highlights a need for frank conversations about money, motherhood, IVF, ambition, guilt, partnership and trade-offs.

“I think that we need to talk about everything. We need to share the details. But when I say talk, I don’t mean have a chat. I mean, get into the details, share the nitty-gritty, give the information that matters,” she says, adding that women often hear the broad strokes, like someone hired a lawyer or signed a contract, but don’t ever get into the specifics. How was the contract structured? What business lessons came from it? What mistakes were made?”

The World Isn’t Fair. So What?

She notes in her book that the world is rarely fair to women, but also that “fair” itself is a shaky ideal. Rather than debating and dwelling on women’s disadvantages, she urges them to start with themselves: to create opportunities, act on them and claim an active role. As she writes, “you are not a bystander in your own life.”

Controversy Comes With The Territory

Grede sparked criticism in 2025 when she described work-life balance as a “red flag” topic in job interviews on the Diary of a CEO podcast. Many felt the comments were tone-deaf to the structural barriers working women face. Grede hasn’t softened her stance but maintains that honesty, not pleasantries, is what will actually move women forward.

“I also think that we have to be really honest about where success really comes from, right? It’s like, you can’t consume your way to success. Watching successful people isn’t the same as becoming one,” she says. Grede does not gloss over hard work or romanticize success. Whether she refers to it “sweat equity,” grit, determination or ambition, hard work is at the core of success and there is no shortcut around it. “This book should feel like a wake-up call for ambitious women,” who want “money, power, career and families,” because ultimately, Grede says, it is “about self-leadership.”

Her Version of Work/Life Balance

In her interview with WSJ, she said that on the weekends, she’s busy doing activities that “fill my cup.” With that in mind, she avoids reading school emails or engaging in activities that she believes are “overparenting.”

Grede is the anti-thesis of the ‘trad wife’ poster child, Nara Smith. “Cutting sandwiches into star shapes? That was never it for me,” Grede said, explaining that her family’s team of nannies, cleaners, chef and chief of staff keep things running smoothly at home. She said that by establishing these parenting rules and delegating, she’s been able to manage a big family and successful career, like she’s always wanted.

Instead, she wants to use her time with her children to create “high-impact, core memories,” such as fishing trips and vacations to New York.

Why Can’t you Have it All?

Women ask Grede all the time whether they can have kids and be successful. Her answer is always the same: Yes, so long as you resist a culture that insists you perform perfectly in both spheres simultaneously.

“There are a lot of women who are overextended and exhausted—and loaded with guilt because they’re not living up to some sort of cultural ideal—and a lot of women who don’t think it’s worth the fight to even consider doing both. There aren’t many of us who are easily wearing a successful and vibrant career while feeling like we are also a good mother.”

“The maintenance of this balance—particularly in an American culture that bends so insistently toward the idea that a woman’s primary job needs to be in the home (#tradwife)—requires me to check my own masculine energy at the door when I come home at night. And I have a lot of masculine energy. I give direction and tell people what to do for most of the day. By the time I get home, not only do I want a break, but I need a reprieve. I do not parent my husband. I have never done that shit, and I never will.”

“Honestly, parenting is not that deep. It’s just not that deep. What your kids need: a lot of love, someone who sees them, someone they can depend on no matter what, moments of repair after big upsets, and guardrails. I don’t think my kids need me to hover over them in anxiety, worrying about every meal and every after-school enrichment opportunity. That’s not what my kids need from me, and I’m not a bad mum because I feel that way.”

“I’m very clear about controlling expectations and communicating clearly so that I don’t embark on an impossible balancing act where I’m under-delivering all over the place—and making others help me carry the guilt that results.”

…

So, what do you think of Emma’s vision of work and life?

So let’s look at some very common reasons behind seemingly inexplicable breakouts - and what you can actually do about them.

1. Check the biotin and B12 content of your favorite energy drink or hair vitamin:

A can of Celsius contains 300 mcg of biotin which equals 1,000% of the recommended daily value (DV). Four capsules of Nutrafol contains a staggering 3,000 mcg of biotin in a daily serving, representing 10,000% of the recommended daily value.

Why is that a problem?

Biotin overstimulates keratin production and acne-prone skin already has a problem with sticky, overproducing skin cells — excess keratin makes this worse, causing more buildup inside the follicle and faster pore blockage.

It also competes with pantothenic acid (Vitamin B5) which is crucial for regulating sebum production, and low B5 is directly linked to increased oil output. So high biotin doesn’t just cause more keratin, it indirectly causes more pore-clogging sebum too — hitting two of the four pillars of acne at once.

B12 is worth watching too. If your acne is tender, painful to the touch, and came on suddenly after starting a B12 supplement, that vitamin is likely the culprit. B12 can trigger a breakout in as little as a day - it's that potent a trigger.

You don’t have to give up your faily energy drink, just check the label for brands that don’t exceed 100% RDA for biotin and B12.

Gorgie Contains 30mcg of biotin per can (100% daily value) plus 100% daily value of both B6 and B12.

Bloom Sparkling Energy Contains 100% RDA of B12, but notably does not list biotin as an ingredient. This is the brand I typically drink every day for that reason.

2. When was the last time you cleaned your cell phone?

A good rule of thumb is “nature doesn’t grow in straight lines.” If you notice that your breakout forms a line down one side of your face, the culprit is typically something external you’re applying to the skin that is teeming with bacteria.

Do you leave your phone on the floor in the gym between sets? Do you place it on the top of the toilet while you use the restroom? Did you wipe it down after using it on a plane tray table? Bacteria is one of the four pillars of acne, so get into the habit of wiping your phone regularly with antibacterial wipes and keeping your hands clean. Same goes for regularly washing pillowcases and makeup brushes.

3. Do you break out on the side of your nose?

If you are noticing frequent pimples specifically around the bridge of your nose, try wiping the frames with alcohol wipes frequently to remove makeup buildup and bacteria. Same goes for your red light mask - I realized recently when I got two pimples on exactly the mirror opposite sides of my nose that it was something I was placing on my face. Keep a stash of little disposable alcohol wipes for routine sanitizing of anything that comes into contact with your face, that includes eyelash curlers!

4. Check your blood sugar

This one was huge for me. I was a regular rosé drinker with cravings for carby treats and had no idea that lifestyle was fueling chronically high insulin levels (and inflammatory acne), even though I was very fit and slim. I didn’t fit the ‘pre-diabetic’ model but my bloodwork didn’t lie. I saw a dramatic decrease in my breakouts and overall redness when I stopped drinking wine and started taking blood sugar regulation more seriously.

Blood sugar levels have a strong impact on hormone production and when blood sugar remains consistently high, insulin levels also stay elevated. This prolonged elevation of insulin can stimulate the production of androgens.

These androgens stimulate the skin to produce more sebum, which when combined with dead skin cells and bacteria can clog pores and lead to acne.

Also, high insulin levels can decrease the production of a protein that helps to regulate androgen levels in the bloodstream. This can further exacerbate hormonal imbalance in the body, contributing to more intense acne breakouts.

So what can you do to help?

• Move your body after eating: Moving your body for as little as 5-10 minutes after eating (walking, exercising, dancing) can help to prevent blood sugar spikes.

• Prioritize quality sleep: Poor sleep can lead to insulin resistance and higher blood sugar levels. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep per night.

• Manage stress: Chronic stress elevates cortisol levels, which can cause blood sugar to rise. Studies show supplementing with phosphatidylserine can lower cortisol spikes in response to stress.

• Consider supplementing with apple cider vinegar or a tincture like Organic Olivia’s GlucoBitters which is meant to help you avoid the ‘glucose rollercoaster’ of sugar and carb cravings. Simply take 1-2 full droppers in a glass of water before meals or treats.

I’m not a doctor, and nothing here should be taken as medical advice — this is based on my personal experience and research. Always consult your healthcare provider before making changes to your routine.

I’ve been acne-prone since my teens, mostly hormonal breakouts around my mouth and chin. My skin was never bad enough that I felt I needed Accutane or go on spironolactone, but I always had something on my face. I cycled though products, tried the occasional laser treatment, and hoped each new thing would be the magic fix. Anyone with acne knows it’s rarely that simple.

At the end of 2025, I wanted to come off hormonal birth control after nearly two years. The side effects were making me miserable, but the pill had done wonders for my skin. I had enjoyed seven glorious months of a clear complexion. (A side note: those months gave me a real appreciation for people who wake up every day without thinking about their skin. What a gift that must be.)

But even on the pill, the pesky hormonal zits were starting to pop up again and I knew my body was crying out for balance. Those red pimples were red flags being thrown at me from within like darts on my face. So I decided to go back to basics and actually understand what causes a pimple before spending another dollar on a new product and prepare myself to come off the pill without rebound acne.

The Four Pillars of Acne:

1. Excess sebum production

The sebaceous glands produce too much oil, primarily driven by androgens (especially DHT). This creates a rich, oily environment that sets the stage for everything else. It’s why hormonal fluctuations and stress (cortisol spikes androgen levels) both trigger breakouts.

2. Abnormal Skin Cell Shedding

In acne-prone skin, dead skin cells don’t shed normally - they’re stickier than usual and clump together inside the follicle instead. These sticky cells combine with excess oil and form the starting point of every single pimple, long before it’s visible.

This is also worth keeping in mind if you take hair, skin and nail supplements like Nutrafol, which are often packed with high doses of biotin. Biotin drives keratin production, and that excess keratin can bury deep into pores and trigger cystic acne.

3. Bacteria

C. acnes is a normal skin bacterium, but when trapped inside a plugged, sebum-filled follicle it thrives and multiplies rapidly. It feeds on sebum and produces waste products that irritate the follicle wall.

4. Inflammation

The immune system detects C. acnes and its byproducts and launches an inflammatory response. Attackkkk!

This is what turns a blocked pore into a red, pus-filled pimple or swollen cyst. Notably, research now shows inflammation can actually begin before the pore is fully blocked, making it a driver of acne rather than just a downstream effect.

My Strategy

I was terrified of a huge post-pill acne flare up so I set about devising a strategy for each of these four pillars to give my body the best shot at keeping my skin clear or as close to clear as possible.

Step 1 — Control oil production and hormone balance

This is my supplement stack , which I started taking a couple months before coming off the pill and have continued it as it seems to work well:

Clearstem MINDBODYSKIN: Key ingredients like DIM, Vitamin B5, Glutathione, and Turmeric optimize digestion, liver detoxification, and hormone regulation.

DIM (additional 100mg in the evening): My OB-GYN recommended adding extra DIM on top of the Clearstem dose to help my body metabolise excess estrogen.

Zinc 30mg: Studies suggest that zinc help lower DHT levels and therefore reducing the hormonal signal that triggers excess oil and clogged pores. It is also shown to suppress inflammation to make pimples less red, swollen and painful. Which for me, as a sufferer of cystic acne, this is huge. Zinc is also essential for wound healing and can also help existing spots resolve faster.

Also worth a honorary mention here is drinking spearmint tea to reduce androgens and taking phosphatidylserine (try saying that three times quickly) before bedtime which I have recently discovered for lowering nighttime cortisol. A separate post on that is coming.

Step 2 - Exfoliation

I generally avoid retinol on inflamed, active breakouts. Retinol speeds up cell turnover, and if you’re already having a problem with sticky, overproducing cells, it can worsen inflammation and redness. AHAs and BHAs are a better starting point. There are so many great products on the market so I’m just going to focus on the two I’ve seen the most success with.

Sofie Pavitt Mandelic Acid Serum

I’ve seen some dermatologists virtually sneer at the use of mandelic acid for acne as its generally regarded as better for managing post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation rather than acne itself. However, if Sofie Pavitt the “acne whisperer” herself swears by it, I was game to give it a try. I have to say, I’m not sure exactly why but my skin drinks this stuff up - I prefer it over other acids and will often apply this serum as part of my routine morning and night. It seems to be just the right amount of gentle exfoliation to keep my pores clear and I wake up in the morning with any redness and small blemishes calmed or even gone.

15% Azelaic Acid

If acne sufferers struggle with overkeratinazation of skin cells, then azelaic acid can be helpful by normalizing keratinization and effectively reducing excessive, abnormal skin shedding. This action helps keep pores clear and prevents comedone (blackhead/whitehead) formation, making it a key treatment for acne, rosacea, and congestion without harsh irritation. Which is also why it can be helpful for people with KP on the back of their arms, as that is also from the buildup of excess keratin.

Step 3 - War On Bacteria:

Drying face only with Clean Towels

I rolled my eyes at these for yearsss as a total con now I wish I had started using them sooner. I won’t put a towel near my face now and I’m convinced that eliminating that source of bacteria has made a noticeable difference.

Hypochlorous spray

Love love love hypochlorous. So multi-functional and easy, it is a weak acid naturally produced by the body’s white blood cells that destroys the cell walls of C.acnes bacteria on contact. It also calms inflammatory signals, supports wound healing and supports a healthy skin barrier. Tower 28 has a popular one but I couldn’t justify shelling out $28 each time for what is essentially saltwater in exchange for cute branding. The Amazon one does the job and I spritz it on liberally after I’m finished with cleansing, morning and night.

High Frequency Wand

Yes, these buzzy wands effectively kill C. Acnes bacteria by sing a low-level electrical current to produce ozone, which creates a germicidal effect and reduce inflammation. Use with caution as it can also dry out skin and if overused so you should limit sessions to 2-3 times a week rather than daily to protect your skin barrier.

Topical benzoyl peroxide is also great for killing bacteria, I just find it dries me out faster so it’s not my first choice.

Is there a product that targets all four pillars??

There is a lot of overlap and complimentary action happening between the items listed above that should have an overall positive impact on inflammation. If you’re still looking for a spot treatment, sulfur might be what you’re looking for.

Mario Badescu Drying Lotion

This fan fave features Sulfur, Salicylic Acid, Zinc Oxide, and Calamine. I admit I’ve only recently seemed to have figured out the best way to use it. I’ll do my full face routine including moisturizer then as a last step, I’ll dab a cotton swab into the lotion and dot on any emerging pimple, big or tiny. When I wake up, it seems to have calmed the ‘anger’ in an inflamed pore.

The Ordinary Sulfur 10% Powder-to-Cream Concentrate Acne Spot Treatment

Featuring 10% sulfur, this product touts benefits such as controlling oil, unclogging pores, reducing inflammation and bacteria.

One important note: sulfur is very drying and should never be applied to broken skin or freshly picked spots. I once applied AHA to some raw pimples and essentially gave myself a chemical burn. Learn from my mistakes, girls.

Having a clearer understanding of what’s actually happening under the skin has changed how I approach my routine. I feel more empowered with my daily practices and product choices because I am intentional about the purpose they are serving. I’m not infallible - I got a couple pre-menstrual cystic pimples pop up recently on my chin that I got injected. But it’s been four months now and I have yet to see any crazy rebound post-pill acne so hopefully my body has found a more harmonious inner balance through this regime.

The real shift for me is that I feel more at peace with my breakouts now because I’m human and my body is just doing it’s job at fighting the inflammation and I can help it out. I also noticed a couple of those cysts were popping up in the same follicle as previous breakouts and learned that damaged follicles are a thing. The good news is apparently you can ‘retrain’ them - hurrah! If you’d like more tips on that, let me know in the comments and I’ll bring on an expert to talk us through it.

I am passionate about this topic and could talk for hours nerding out on beauty science and I hope this has been helpful :)

I’m not a doctor, and nothing here should be taken as medical advice — this is purely my personal experience. Always consult your healthcare provider before making changes to your routine. Heads up: some links in this post are affiliate links, so I may earn a small commission if you buy through them. I only ever share products I genuinely use and love.

When I recommend others to start therapy, I say it because it helped me find my voice. For my entire life, I had always seen myself as this repressed, painfully shy, introverted soul (Pisces Moon here, hi) with so many deep feelings and existential worries - but unable to string those thoughts and emotions into any kind of coherent dialogue. Could I write them down in a private journal? Sure. Open myself up to being vulnerable and verbally expressive and experience true connection with another human? Uh…nope. I only knew myself as someone that would just burst into tears the moment things felt too overwhelming. It was ultimately a very isolating way to live and I existed for decades never truly expressing how I felt or feeling understood.

I got lucky with the first therapist I found. She had the soft-spoken, kind and compassionate aura I was intuitively seeking. All our sessions were conducted via Zoom and I liked that I could tuck myself in any cozy corner of my home that felt safe that day and I didn’t have to drive home shielding my ugly crying face. I remember how it felt that first session when she calmly asked me: how are you doing? And it hit me — this was the first time being asked that simple question where I didn’t have to lie or save face and say “good” or “I’m fine”. This person was here, literally just to hold space for the next hour for me. To listen without judgement. And crucially for me, was not connected to anyone I knew. I was blissfully anonymous. Privacy and not trusting anyone to know anything about your personal life or struggles behind closed curtains was something my Mother had drilled into me from birth, hence my issue with vulnerability. That was one of my many a-ha moments.

Looking back on those first few sessions, I mostly just cried my eyes out. I sobbed as I finally said out loud all the big, scary feelings I had kept locked up inside since childhood. I grew more comfortable with letting someone see me cry and not feel weak. Soon the emotional tidal waves were replaced with more therapeutic conversations with a more natural ebb and flow. BUT - it was not the actual therapy sessions that helped me make the best progress. For me, the following was key.

Let’s say you’re spending one hour a week talking to your therapist. How are you actively spending your ‘thinking’ hours the rest of the week? Where else are you devoting dedicated ‘think and feel’ time to the most important issues or goals on your mind that week? I found the most clarity I ever had was during walking on the treadmill in my garage (best pandemic purchase I made) with my headphones in listening to — and this is important — single-person podcasts. At the time, I specifically enjoyed Mindset Mentor podcast with Rob Dial. Still do occasionally. But whatever subject matter I was into that week, I would search and find a voice and a vibe I resonated with.

I started to call it my “walking therapy” where I would walk and listen and try to mentally articulate what was coming up for me. “E-motion” is energy in motion, so it’s important to pair movement when trying to alchemize emotions and shift stagnant energy or physical tension. I remember one particular podcast episode on why it is so hard to change, there was a quote about needing to let the old version of yourself die to make space for the new one to come in.

“A seed has to totally destroy itself to become a flower”

That was a teary-eyed moment where I thanked my old protective coping mechanisms for trying to keep me safe, but I no longer needed them anymore. I was ready for a bigger life. These were the quiet moments where the little shifts began to happen.

A lot of podcasts are guest based and often there is just too much back and forth waffle. But by comparison, pay attention to an expert in their field who has hundreds if not thousands of hours under their belt speaking on the topic and communicating with clarity. Not all are created equal - find one that resonates. Notice their cadence, the pacing, the language choice, how they convey tone or emotion and when to pause. I would give the same advice to someone nervous about a public speaking engagement. As if by osmosis, I became a better communicator.

As the months passed I could hear myself in therapy express myself in increasingly articulate ways. People in my life started to notice a difference. I was more vulnerable so people were more open with me. I was a better listener. I argued better. I was less reactive. More compassionate. Because the voice coming out of me now felt the truest it had ever been, I felt a sense of connection I hadn’t experienced before.

I was in therapy over the course of about eighteen months. But I had started to notice that I was still repeating myself in the same thought loops. Sometimes just to fill the hour and feel like I’d been productive. I thought I had identified my childhood wounds, my triggers, my life goals - but it wasn’t getting me any closer to taking the actions needed to build this big beautiful life I had in my head. I thought I knew what I needed to do, but I wasn’t doing it. The stickiness, or stuckness, was still there. Therapy helped me clear through some mental weeds and find my voice but it did not seem to be helping beyond that. When I dove into learning somatic therapy tools in combination with talk therapy, that is when my crippling anxiety finally dissolved. My mind and body needed to connect again. I realized the process of ‘healing’ takes a much broader and holistic approach.

I’ve had conversations with friends who have been with the same therapist for years, but say they are still lodged in the same patterns and not getting much further. A friend going through a divorce bemoaned that fact all she did was talk about her ex in her therapy sessions. But here she was making a conscious choice: to make him the focus of her sessions and continue rehashing the past, rather than directing energy towards a positive action plan for her future self. I said, the therapist gets paid either way, and they will follow your lead on whatever subject you feel compelled to revisit.

During my three year hiatus from talk therapy, I honestly found so many wonderful creators on TikTok who are passionate about their corner of the internet. I unlocked so many other disciplines and healing modalities. Part of THE UPLEVEL is dedicated to conversations with these creators to share their knowledge and impart their wisdom in hopes they can help even more people.

I am going back to therapy because I feel ready to unpeel another layer. I feel I have gained new perspectives on myself, my past conditioning and the wider world around me. I’m actually excited to have that dedicated space again to get to know this version of myself even better and see where those reflections will lead me. I also realized when you do a lot of inner work, it can generate a LOT of heavy energy. I underestimated the importance of needing to have people or places to properly discharge it. That heavy energy was bleeding into my relationship unconsciously and that’s not healthy for anyone involved.

If you are blessed enough to have a trusted support circle to turn to during difficult times, consider yourself RICH. Not everyone has the privilege and struggles in silence. In that scenario, committing time and money to therapy could be one of the greatest investments you could ever make in yourself. Just make sure that individual is the right fit for your own personal needs and vibe.

Therapy is awesome. Truly. It can actually give you back time — the time you lose spinning your wheels on a topic and looping over and over with no mental exit in sight. That shit is exhausting. You can learn how to detach from your ruminations. Therapy allows you to unleash the thought and let it exist outside of you. It’s like examining a rock in your hand. The rock is the thought and you can be the observer of the thought. It is so freeing. Just be cautious of letting your sessions keep you trapped in the past and repeating loops in the guise of self-improvement and approach it instead as simply one tool among many on your transformational journey.

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Please share in the comments: what limitations, if any, did you experience with talk therapy? What were some of the biggest skills you learned from it?

I am not a medical or mental health professional. The opinions shared here are my own and are for general informational purposes only. They are not intended as professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a qualified professional for personalized guidance and support.

A good friend of mine mentioned it to me as something I should explore. Just for fun. To play around with my creative writing. For many months I was at war with myself — how would I come up with regular content?? Then I realized the swirling vortex of internal dialogue and my insatiable curiosity that takes up the emotional real estate in my brain constituted a limitless supply of writing prompts. I only needed to tip them out of my head and onto the screen. It didn’t need to be perfect. I could even keep it anonymous. Huh… suddenly it didn’t seem so intimidating. So consider this an expansive version of a personal journal of sorts and come along for a journey of self discovery. There is no final destination to arrive at where we are well and truly ‘healed’. But I believe the journey should be approached with compassionate curiosity and an openness to new perspectives. To see old memories through new eyes. To view ourselves with a renewed sense of love and appreciation.

Throughout this journey, I have distilled this feeling that everything I will create, whether that is this online journal, screenplays or books, will be for the purpose of helping women to feel seen, to feel understood, and to allow feelings and fears to be expressed into words that they couldn’t find for themselves.

The human experience is full of many wonderful things. But it is also really, fucking hard. To carry around the weight of so many layered and sticky emotions and thoughts and unanswerable questions and hypotheticals. We were given these incredible bodies with such capacity for feeling and thinking — and yet none of us were gifted with a guidebook with how to operate it. I feel like we spend our days stumbling through life in the dark trying to make sense of it all. Trying to make it hurt a little less. Or make the good times last a little longer. And ultimately it can often be a lonely journey. We think we are the only ones feeling lost or stuck or behind. So I wanted to create a little corner of the internet where like-minded kind souls could feel a little less alone.

When I started my own healing journey in October 2021, I felt like I was starting from absolute scratch. I had never done talk therapy, had no clue about what my nervous system was or why I generally felt sad or stuck a lot of the time. I was a bundle of anxious frayed nerves and felt like I wallowing in the shady depths of my existence. I remember lying in bed with tears in my eyes, watching the branches of the trees sway in the breeze, literally watching time pass me by. Time was passing and I was a passive participant in my life. Everyone else seemed to be actively moving forward. Quite honestly it felt terrifying. I felt it in my core: I can’t do this anymore. And for the first time in my life I was able to take some small action that has ultimately spurred me on this path.

In the months that followed, I felt myself slowly unfurling. And since that journey began, I have come to appreciate my ability to consume a lot of information. I have a voracious appetite for knowledge and wisdom — and I like to distill it down to the best, most useful bits. I recognized that not everyone has the time or inclination to be able to do the same. So I created this holistic guide to be a space where I could share the people, concepts, therapists, functional medicine practitioners, astrologists, artists, writers, founders and bright thinkers that have inspired and educated me and brought me comfort during the long dark nights. I hope that in time you come to meet the more connected, more peaceful, truest and highest version of yourself x